“There’s something going around.”
Not what any parent wants to hear. But with the current cold and flu season raging, chances are pretty high that something is going to make it into your house at some point.
While you are no doubt a pro at taking care of the sick kiddos, what happens when it’s you that gets hit with the crud?
Nobody can be supermom when their body feels like it’s trying to kill them. You’re going to need some coping mechanisms to get through this. Being a foster parent requires some special considerations.
1. Call for help.
Your neighbor may not be approved to watch the kids alone, but perhaps they could bring over snacks or supervise some backyard play.
Enlist the older kids to help with the younger. Don’t require a foster child to parent younger children, but allow them to play together, help with homework, or assist with their care. It’s often their instinct to do so anyway. The goal is for you to rest as much as possible so you’ll be better faster. You can reward them later with a special treat or outing as thanks.
2. Keep easy meals on hand.
Keep a few microwave meals in the freezer for such emergencies so even a capable pre-teen can start dinner. (Think family sized frozen lasagna or mac-n-cheese.) Nobody is going to punish you if the kids go a day without all the food groups. Peanut butter and jelly is always an option, too, provided no one has a nut allergy.
While you have a bit of strength, take a moment to set up a little snack station with some healthy (or even not so healthy) snacks so that kids can help themselves and let you rest. Juice boxes, cheese sticks, fruit slices, muffins, crackers, cereal bars, etc., will stave off hunger until someone can make the next meal. Or maybe that is the next meal.
3. Corral the babies.
If you don’t have the luxury of retreating alone to your room for fear the children won’t survive, you’ll have to be resourceful.
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Create a nest where you can keep the little ones nearby. Use baby gates, blankets, swing, or any other equipment that will keep the baby content and close. Set up a station with diapers, wipes, hand sanitizer, as well as snacks, books, electronic devices that entertain, all within reach.
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Set up a monitor in the playroom with the children, but keep in mind, it is illegal in the state of California for foster parents to have surveillance cameras in the home. You’ll have to rely on sound only.
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Drag yourself to the couch with your tissues, water bottle, and blankies. Just having you in the room with them might be enough to make them feel secure. Hopefully, the TV will mesmerize them enough that you can catch some sleep.
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Make a blanket fort with chairs and bedding to keep kids entertained in a small space. Provide quiet activities like books and flashlights or hand-held devices. The fort will create an added barrier to the mom-germs.
4. Make it a game.
Encourage the kids to play “nurse” to you. Whenever I got sick, I would tell my kids, “Put mommy to bed.” They were so sweet to make sure I was tucked in and cozy, and then they would be extra well behaved and quiet. They can pretend their dolls and stuffed animals are sick, too. This teaches empathy and life skills while you get some quiet time.
5. Let go of the high standards.
Sure, your house is going to look like a bomb went off, but you’ll get that under control when you feel better. For now, you need to rest and get well. If you can get them to put the dirty dishes into the kitchen, and dirty clothes into the bedroom, you’ll be winning. If they do a chore halfway, consider they may be doing their best under a stressful situation. You can train them when you’re healthy again.
Relax the rules. Unlimited TV and delivery pizza are your friends rightnow.
Pop-Tarts and apples for lunch? Why not? Cereal for dinner is not the end of the world, and neither is a six-hour Disney movie marathon. Using paper plates for a couple of days won’t destroy the rainforest. And that pile of crumbs on the living room floor will find the vacuum another day.
6. Practice self-care.
Do what you need to do to feel better. Nobody needs a martyr mom.
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Stay hydrated with plenty of water and hot tea.
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Sip hot jello. Prepare box jello with the usual amount of water, using all boiling water (no cold). The tasty warmth coats the throat, fills the tummy, and provides a bit of sugar energy. Put the rest in a bowl in the fridge and the kids can have it with dinner. You’re welcome.
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See your doctor if it seems like more than just a common cold. Medication might be needed to get you well sooner.
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Over-the-counter meds can alleviate symptoms enough to allow you to function or rest easier. Many people rely on essential oils for symptom relief and to speed healing.
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Stay warm and let your body do what it knows to do. Our body’s temp goes up when we’re sick because it’s fighting off the bad bugs. Avoid getting chilled.
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Rest — Rest — Rest! Sleep as much as you can get away with it. If you don’t dare sleep, at least rest like you’re sleeping. (Or as I call it, ‘play dead’.)
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Don’t stress. Worrying never made anybody feel better. It also won’t fix dinner or fold the laundry. If some things are not up to par while you’re not, it’s ok. Really it is.
Avoidance is the Best Plan
The number one thing you can do, of course, is to NOT get sick in the first place. Take your supplements, drink plenty of water, and make sure everyone is washing their hands. A lot.
Keep antibacterial wipes around the house for wiping down doorknobs, light switches, and other surfaces — especially if someone is sick!
Avoid things that lower your immune system, like excessive alcohol and sugar consumption, lack of sleep, and stress. I know…easier said than done.
If things get really bad and the kids aren’t coping, call your social worker. They are your 24-hour support system. Always keep them informed of any serious situations happening in your home.
Be well!
Share below any tips you have so others can benefit!
Article written by Cindy White Horvath. She can be reached at cindy@avgffa.org
