Sad, lonely, scared, confused…children in foster care have a great deal to process. These feelings can turn into behaviors. They need help.
Where can foster parents turn for resources to help those in their care? Many parenting books don’t take into consideration the uniques circumstances and obstacles related to foster care.
Fortunately, there are some great resources available. Here is a list of books that every foster home should consider adding to their collection.
Books for Children
A Mother for Choco by Keiko Kasza
Choco wishes he had a mother, but who could she be? He sets off to find her, asking all kinds of animals, but he doesn’t meet anyone who looks just like him. He doesn’t even think of asking Mrs. Bear if she’s his mother-but then she starts to do just the things a mommy might do. And when she brings him home, he meets her other children — a piglet, a hippo, and an alligator — and learns that families can come in all shapes and sizes and still fit together.
A Terrible Thing Happened by Margaret M. Holmes and Sasha J. Mudlaff
Sherman Smith saw the most terrible thing happen. At first he tried to forget about it, but something inside him started to bother him. He felt nervous and had bad dreams. Then he met someone who helped him talk about the terrible thing, and made him feel better.
Brave Bart: A Story for Traumatized and Grieving Children by Caroline H. Sheppard
This beautifully illustrated children’s storybook about Brave Bart, a kitty who had something bad, sad and scary happen to him. Helping Hannah helps Brave Bart overcome his fears and become a survivor. This storybook helps to normalize trauma reactions, talk to children about trauma and offers comfort while helping them move from victim to survivor-thinking.
Families Change by Julie Nelson
All families change over time. Sometimes a baby is born, or a grown-up gets married. And sometimes a child gets a new foster parent or a new adopted mom or dad. Children need to know that when this happens, it’s not their fault.
Here in the Garden by Briony Stewart
As the seasons change, a young boy shares the magic of his garden with a special friend: “The wind is raking through the falling leaves and I wish that you were here.” This extraordinary picture book about loss, love and friendship shows that we can always find our way back to a loved one through our hearts and our memories.
Home for a Bunny by Margaret Wise Brown
A family favorite since 1956, Margaret Wise Brown’s simple yet playful tale is perfectly complemented by Garth Williams’s exquisite artwork — and is now back in print as a Little Golden Book Classic.
I Don’t Have Your Eyes by Carrie A. Kitze
While others may notice the physical differences, there are so many ways we can celebrate the commonality that makes us truly family. We don’t look the same on the outside, but in our hearts, we are the same.
I’m Here by Peter H. Reynolds
Pure, powerful and deceptively simple, bestselling author and illustrator Peter H. Reynolds reminds us that children—and the friendships they make—can take flight in unexpected ways.
Kids Need To Be Safe: A Book for Children in Foster Care by Julie Nelson
“Kids are important… They need safe places to live, and safe places to play.” For some kids, this means living with foster parents. In simple words and full-color illustrations, this book explains why some kids move to foster homes, what foster parents do, and ways kids might feel during foster care.
Love You From Right Here by Jamie Sandefer
“Love You From Right Here” takes you through an abbreviated look at the emotions a young foster child experiences throughout her transition in a new foster home. It also serves as a keepsake book with a journaling section providing the foster family an opportunity to give the child a piece of their history when they leave.
Maybe Days: A Book for Children in Foster Care by Jennifer Wilgocki
For many children in foster care, the answer to many questions is often “maybe”. Maybe Days is a straightforward look at the issues of foster care, the questions that children ask, and the feelings that they confront.
Murphy’s Three Homes: A Story for Children in Foster Care by Jan Levinson Gilman and Kathy O’Malley
Murphy, a Tibetan Terrier puppy, is told he is a ‘good luck dog’ — he is cheerful, happy, and loves to play and wag his tail. However, after going through two different homes and an animal shelter, Murphy starts to feel like a ‘bad luck dog’ who nobody wants.
Once I Was Very Very Scared by Chandra Ghosh Ippen
A little squirrel announces that he was once very, very, scared and finds out that he is not alone. Lots of little animals went through scary experiences, but they react in different ways. Turtle hides and gets a tummy ache, monkey clings, dog barks, and elephant doesn’t like to talk about it. They need help, and they get help from grown-ups who help them feel safe and learn ways to cope with difficult feelings. This story was written to help children and grown-ups understand how stress can affect children and ways to help them.
One for the Murphys by Lynda Mullaly Hunt
Carley uses humor and street smarts to keep her emotional walls high and thick. But the day she becomes a foster child, and moves in with the Murphys, she’s blindsided. This loving, bustling family shows Carley the stable family life she never thought existed, and she feels like an alien in their cookie-cutter-perfect household.
Sam Feels Better Now: An Interactive Story for Children by Jill Osborne
Sam saw something awful and scary! Ms. Carol, a special therapist, will show Sam how to feel better. Children can help Sam feel better too by using drawings, play, and storytelling activities. They will be able to identify and manage their own feelings and difficulties in their lives following a traumatic event, crisis, or grief.
The Family Book by Todd Parr
The Family Book celebrates the love we feel for our families and all the different varieties they come in. Whether you have two moms or two dads, a big family or a small family, a clean family or a messy one, Todd Parr assures readers that no matter what kind of family you have, every family is special in its own unique way.
The Feelings Book by Todd Parr
The Feelings Book vibrantly illustrates the wide range of moods we all experience. Kids and adults will appreciate Todd Parr’s quirky intelligence as he pays special attention to the ever-changing, sometimes nonsensical emotions that we all feel.
The Invisible String by Patrice Karst
The Invisible String delivers a particularly compelling message in today’s uncertain times that though we may be separated from the ones we care for, whether through anger, or distance or even death, love is the unending connection that binds us all, and, by extension, ultimately binds every person on the planet to everyone else.
The Rhino Who Swallowed a Storm by LaVar Burton
In this poetic book-within-a-book, a happy little rhinoceros is overwhelmed by a storm that sweeps away everything he loves. Swallowing the storm just makes him feel worse, so Rhino sets off on a whimsical journey toward healing. In his first children’s book, longtime Reading Rainbow host LeVar Burton gives us an engaging resource to help children express their feelings and navigate through difficult experiences.
Wherever You Are: My Love Will Find You by Nancy Tillman
Love is the greatest gift we have to give our children. It’s the one thing they can carry with them each and every day. Here is a book to share with your loved ones, no matter how near or far, young or old, they are.
Zachary’s New Home: A Story for Foster and Adopted Children by Geraldine M. Blomquist and Paul B. Blomquist
Zachary still remembers his “real” parents and finds that adjusting to life as Marie and Tom’s adopted son is sometimes a painful reality.
Books for Parenting
Another Place at the Table by Kathy Harrison
Another Place at the Table is the story of life at our social services’ front lines, centered on three children who, when they come together in Harrison’s home, nearly destroy it. It is the frank first-person story of a woman whose compassionate best intentions for a child are sometimes all that stand between violence and redemption.
Beyond Consequences, Logic or Control by Heather T. Forbes and B. Bryan Post
Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control covers in detail the effects of trauma on the body-mind and how trauma alters children’s behavioral responses. The first four chapters help parents and professionals clearly understand the neurological research behind the basic model given in this book, deemed, ‘The Stress Model.’ While scientifically based in research, it is written in an easy to understand and easy to grasp format for anyone working with or parenting children with severe behaviors.
Born for Love: Why Empathy is Essential and Endangered by Bruce D. Perry and Maia Szalavitz
Born for Love examines how empathy develops — or fails to develop — from birth through adulthood and what we can do to increase this vital capacity to love and care both among our children and in society.
Distress and Comfort by Judy Dunn
Examines such questions as individual differences in infant fretfulness, the emotional effects of mother’s speedy response to her baby’s cries, and the impact of strangers on infants in the second half of their first year.
Healing Days: A Guide for Kids Who Have Experienced Trauma by Susan Farber Straus
Healing Days is a book designed to be used in therapy for young children and functions as an excellent resource for those who have experienced physical or sexual abuse, or other trauma. Readers will follow four children as they learn ways to cope with their own trauma. Sensitive, empowering, and beautifully illustrated, the book models therapeutic coping responses and provides children with tools they may use to deal with their own trauma.
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish
The ultimate “parenting bible” (The Boston Globe) with a new foreword—and available as an ebook for the first time—a timeless, beloved book on how to effectively communicate with your child from the #1 New York Times bestselling authors.
Learning the Dance of Attachment by Holly van Gulden
An Adoptive/Foster Parent’s Gude to Nurturing Healthy Development, is a child development guide specifically written for adoptive and foster parents. It explains the normal stages of childhood emotional development and contrasts it with disfunctional behaviors caused by early life deprivation and abuse.
Mad to Glad: Simple Lessons to Help Children Cope with Changing Emotions by Angie Harris
Children are often told to “Pay attention!”, but how do they do that when a child’s emotions and thoughts change so quickly? Mad to Glad teaches children the following Mindfulness lessons in a fun and interactive way to increase their focusing abilities.
No Drama Discipline: The Whole-Brain Way to Calm the Chaos and Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson
Highlighting the fascinating link between a child’s neurological development and the way a parent reacts to misbehavior, No-Drama Discipline provides an effective, compassionate road map for dealing with tantrums, tensions, and tears—without causing a scene.
Parenting in the Eye of the Storm: The Adoptive Parent’s Guide to Navigating the Teen Years by Katie Naftzger
Adult adoptee and family therapist Katie Naftzger shares her personal and professional wisdom in this guide to help adoptive parents remain a calm parental influence in the midst of stormy and erratic teen behavior.
Parenting with Love and Logic by Foster Cline and Jim Fay
This parenting book shows you how to raise self-confident, motivated children who are ready for the real world. Learn how to parent effectively while teaching your children responsibility and growing their character.
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk M.D.
Based on Dr. van der Kolk’s own research and that of other leading specialists, The Body Keeps the Score exposes the tremendous power of our relationships both to hurt and to heal—and offers new hope for reclaiming lives.
The Connected Child: Bring Hope and Healing to Your Adoptive Family by Karyn B. Purvis and David R. Cross
“The Connected Child offers practical, hope-filled strategies. It provides parents both the science and the inspiration to help their at-risk children grow healthy in body, mind, and spirit — a tremendous resource for parents and professionals alike.” ~ Thomas Atwood, President and CEO of the National Council for Adoption
The Whole Brain Child by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson
In this pioneering, practical book, Daniel J. Siegel, neuropsychiatrist and author of the bestselling Mindsight, and parenting expert Tina Payne Bryson offer a revolutionary approach to child rearing with twelve key strategies that foster healthy brain development, leading to calmer, happier children. The authors explain—and make accessible—the new science of how a child’s brain is wired and how it matures.
Wounded Children, Healing Homes by Jayne E. Schooler, Betsy Keefer Smalley, and Timothy J. Callahan
Families often enter into this experience with high expectations for their child and for themselves but are broadsided by shattered assumptions. This book addresses the reality of those unmet expectations and offers validation and solutions for the challenges of parenting deeply traumatized and emotionally disturbed children.
Books Related to Grief
A Terrible Thing Happened by Margaret M. Holmes and Sasha J. Mudlaff
After Sherman sees something terrible happen, he becomes anxious and then angry, but when a counselor helps him talk about these emotions he feels better.
My Yellow Balloon by Tiffany Papageorge
Tiffany Papageorge has crafted a poignant tale of love, loss, and letting go that will serve as a comforting guide to children who are navigating the complicated emotions of grief. Rich, luminous illustrations by Erwin Madrid perfectly capture these timeless themes, making them accessible to even the youngest reader.
Stones for Grandpa by Renee Londner
A little boy and his family gather at the cemetery for the unveiling of his grandpa’s gravestone, bringing stones to place on the grave, in the Jewish custom. They tell stories that help the boy deal with his loss, reminding him of the wonderful memories he has of his grandpa.
Tear Soup by Pat Schwiebert and Chuck DeKlyen
If you are going to buy only one book on grief, this is the one to get! It will validate your grief experience, and you can share it with your children. You can leave it on the coffee table so others will pick it up, read it, and then better appreciate your grieving time.
The Fall of Freddie the Leaf: A Story of Life for All Ages by Leo Buscaglia, Ph.D.
This story by Leo Buscaglia is a warm, wonderfully wise and strikingly simple story about a leaf named Freddie. How Freddie and his companion leaves change with the passing seasons, finally falling to the ground with winter’s snow, is an inspiring allegory illustrating the delicate balance between life and death.
The Invisible String by Patrice Karst
The Invisible String delivers a particularly compelling message in today’s uncertain times that though we may be separated from the ones we care for, whether through anger, or distance or even death, love is the unending connection that binds us all, and, by extension, ultimately binds every person on the planet to everyone else.
The Tenth Good Thing About Barney by Judith Viorst
“The plot is extremely simple and spare, but the book depicts grief very well, and so we understand just how broken-hearted the little boy is, and how much he loved his cat. The Tenth Good Thing About Barney is an excellent springboard for families of every religious persuasion (including agnostics and atheists) to discuss what they feel happens after we die.” ~ Amazon Reviewer
When Dinosaurs Die by Laurie Krasny Brown and Marc Brown
Satisfying and comprehensive, this indispensable book is a comforting aid to help all children through a difficult time in their lives.
When Mommies Cry by Beth Banning
“Not too many of us that have gone through the loss of a loved one are able to articulate and record the devastation, let alone reach and comfort the point of pain in another’s grief filled heart. But Beth Banning does exactly that in When Mommies Cry. I know, as she did it for me even though my son David died in 1964.” –Joyce Landorf Heatherley Owner, Balcony Publishing
Whimsy’s Heavy Things by Julie Kraulis
Whimsy’s heavy things are weighing her down. She tries to sweep them under the rug, but she trips over them. She tries to put them in a tree, but they fall on her. She even tries to sail them out to sea, but they always come back. Eventually Whimsy decides to deal with the heavy things one at a time… and a surprising thing happens.
Sometimes the best “book” is a journal. Take the time to write your thoughts and feelings.
Add to Our List
If you have a favorite book you don’t see on the list, let us know in a comment and we’ll gladly add it so others can benefit from it.
Be sure to use AmazonSmile and choose Avant-Garde Foster Family Services Agency and a part of every purchase will go to support our foster kids.
Article written by Cindy White Horvath. She can be reached at cindy@avgffa.org
