Imagine being the new kid in a new school. You feel self-conscious and a little scared and very alone. It’s hard for any new student.
But for a child that is already struggling academically and lacks typical social skills, this scenario can be a recipe for disaster in the classroom. They are suddenly tossed into a different home with strangers, dropped into a new school with all new people, and then expected to adjust in a day or two. They don’t want to be there!
Children from abusive or neglectful environments are often several years behind their peers developmentally. And because they are in survival mode, they often lash out in frustration quite easily. This can make classroom management a real challenge for teachers who must maintain order and a safe environment for all the children in their care.
As a teacher or support person for a foster child, there are several things you can do to alleviate some stress and help the child to find success in school.
• Good Parent/Teacher Communication
The more information the teacher has about the child’s situation, the better. Likewise, the better the teacher communicates with the foster parent, the more consistency for the child. When behavioral issues arise, the teacher can be better prepared to handle the situation with compassion. There may be triggers that should be avoided, such as loud noises or a fear of being touched for example.
With good parent-teacher communication, behavior management can be agreed on by all parties to maintain the consistency that is so important for growth. Remember parents and teachers are partners and allies.
• Understanding and Compassion
When a child is detached, withdrawn, and/or acting out, it can be hard to really like them. It’s essential for teachers to understand that this child is the way they are by no fault of their own. The foster child is in survival mode. They are possibly frustrated, frightened, distracted, embarrassed, lonely, and angry. They are also likely behind academically as well as developmentally. A heart of compassion goes a long way toward avoiding a hostile relationship with this child.
A sensitive teacher will find ways to soften the difficulties for the child, such as one-on-one help with lessons or avoiding asking them to read aloud. Correcting behaviors in private rather than publicly avoids shame and embarrassment. Anything that reduces the child’s anxiety will make school a better experience for everyone.
• Develop Rapport
A foster child may understandably struggle to form trusting relationships with adults. It may take weeks or months, but with consistent effort to connect, a teacher can form a bond with the student. These kids need good role models in their life to demonstrate better methods of interacting with others. Healthy relationships help them unlearn unhealthy habits from previous dysfunctional family experiences.
• Facilitate Friendships
Unfortunately, most children are naturally repelled by kids who are “different,” especially if there are serious behavior issues. A caring teacher can help bridge the gap for these kids by creating a system that supports friendships. By implementing a buddy system, table rotations, games, or scheduled lunch dates, children are encouraged in supporting connections. Perhaps there is a child in the classroom that is particularly friendly and empathetic that can be called on to reach out to the foster child. Bullying must never be tolerated or overlooked.
• Offer Solutions
For most foster care students, setting up an Independent Education Plan (IEP) has enormous benefits. An IEP is a plan or program developed to ensure that a child with qualifying disabilities receives the specialized instruction and related services needed to succeed. Most foster children will qualify for an IEP. With speech therapy, a custom homework plan, and other appropriate adjustments, the child has a much better chance of success.
Finding solutions may require creativity. Notice areas where the child struggles and look for ways to overcome the obstacles. Foster parents have a lot on their plate and homework is not always a priority. With visitations, mealtime struggles, and managing multiple foster children in the home, doing additional school work in the evening can simply be too much. Be willing to modify a plan to accommodate the unique needs of the child.
• Don’t Give Up
A child who struggles can easily slip through the cracks. There may be a temptation to just get through the year and move them along. But by taking responsibility for educating them, you show them love and care. Emphasize the importance of an education and help them find success. Celebrate the smallest victories. Then raise the bar and help them reach it. Every success raises the child’s self-worth and helps them feel valued.
• Instill Hope
Having a positive picture of the future can be a great encourager. Instill in each child seeds of hope for a good life. Dig a little deeper to learn their dreams and desires and nurture those. While most children have been taught they can be anything they want to be, children from abusive homes may have been told they are stupid and worthless. And even if they weren’t, they may still feel disposable due to their circumstances. Help them form dreams and give them the tools to reach them.
Children spend a tremendous amount of their time at school.
The statistics on foster children and education are not promising. The failure rate is very high. But the children in your care are not statistics. They are flesh and blood people who share the same basic needs as all humans.
- The physical needs of food and shelter
- To feel safe
- Belonging and trust
- Successful at tasks
- To feel like a valuable member of society
A child who is food-insecure, ashamed of their shortcomings, or afraid is not prepared to learn. When you help meet those needs, you set the stage for a better learning environment. Working along with the foster parent to find solutions can be a recipe for success. You CAN make a difference in the life of a foster child.
For more information about becoming a foster parent or how you can support foster families, call our office at 951-735-5300. Now serving Riverside, San Bernardino, and Orange Counties.
Article written by Cindy White Horvath. She can be reached at cindy@avgffa.org
